Cyborg Coffee
fanzine for hardcore techno, experimental electronics and anarchist texts
Donnerstag, 22. Januar 2026
Producer's Diary - Writing a full-length "adult-themed" Hardcore Techno album
It took the "nasty" minds of the Hardcore and Gabber producers to finally "talk about s.ex" in that era and style of music.
So there were more or less funny, and more or less "highly offensive" tracks being made, that became cult classic, filled the dancefloors, and would make parents and priests scream in terror.
It was all in good fun, though! (check here for these classics).
I feel this tendency withered over the years, and definitely shrunk in size.
But with the early Hardcore revival, it's time to have a revival of this "nasty Gabber" tradition, too!
So I decided to write an album in that style.
In the end it became a kind of "techno opera", a conceptual album, with common threads tying all the tracks together.
Almost like a prog rock album of the 70s! But with Techno and Gabber this time.
so let's talk about the tracks, baby:
1. Prologue 00:13
Just a short shock-mock intro.
2. Gabber S*x (Extended edit) 04:37
Oldschool Hardcore, 1993 / 1994 style. Straight beats running from start to finish.
4. More Cushion for the Pushin (Fast mix) 03:17
This is more acid / techno style actually, but fast enough for hardcore.
5. *ee Fantasy 04:24
Based on a "funny" incident at a rock star concert. Oldschool Hardcore all the way, almost 1991 / 1992 style if it was not so fast.
Bleeps, Klaxons, Acid / Detroit like filters...
6. *ee Fantasy (Expanded) 03:06
Here the basic track of part 1 completely breaks down and erupts into chaos.
7. Plus Size Angel (Fast mix) 03:17
Similar to track 4 - more like "acid hardcore"
8. Intermission 00:03
Just a very short skit.
9. S*x Beat 02:42
I subvert the Hardcore idea a bit, as the straight beat breaks down, and changes into a non-techno, almost tribal (or industrial) drumming - still with 909s though. The percussion feels (intentionally) "out of sync", but it never actually slips away.
10. S*x Beat (Climax) 04:09
like above - but in total overdrive.
11. F**k the P*rn Industry (Vocal Short Cut) 05:00
Once again a "different" kind of Oldschool - slow acid / techno. Almost like an 80s acid feel. If it was not for the distorted 909. I guess this is the track that is the most easy on the dancefloor.
12. Klos*x (Part 1) 04:44
Now things are just fast and frantic. Speedcore overdrive.
13. Klos*x (Part 2) 04:06
Beyond the speed threshold.
14. Epilogue 02:26
A words-only skit again, that ties the entire album together, and more or less loops back to the idea s expressed since track one.
15. (Bonus Track) Gabber *ex (Original mix) 03:33
A shorter, more straight-to-the-point edit of track two.
You can check production videos to these tracks here: (will add later)
I also wrote a "explanatory" text to the album, which tries to create a kind of mythological / media narrative to the entire thing. You can read it here:
Hope you enjoy the album! Stay tuned for more producer's diary entries.
Oh, and lest we forget: you can also check the album here:
https://gabbaretrecords.bandcamp.com/album/gbbr103-low-entropy-hardcore-sex-volume-2
Germany's favorite Bubblegum Goth Punk band: Looking back at The Bates
Hello Friends,
Here is a new text I wrote. This time it is about a lesser known band, that I think is still interesting.
Note: No AI was used in writing this text.
I think it was music journalist Simon Reynolds who once claimed that when the Punk wave hit the world in the 1970s and the earliest 80s, West Germany was third place, just behind UK and the US, when it came to production and quality of (post) punk music.
But just like in the US, the mainstream appeal of punk fizzled out quite quickly as the 80s went into full effect. Bands, fans, spiked boys and girls went and continued in the underground.
In Germany this gave rise to a genre called Deutschpunk which is a sorta weird mix of US and UK hardcore punk influences, German lyrics, and almost "Kitsch Schlager" type of melodies.
Lyrics of choice are usually about getting drunk, profanities, and either fighting the police or running from it.
But in the 90s there was also another punk band - The Bates.
- Listening Suggestion #1: The Bates - Love is Dead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuO4oNlYfuc
They were a quite weird crew, formed in a sheltered and cozy German smalltown setting.
Including the charismatic lead singer "Zimbl", a Jazz musician as the drummer (Klube), Armin, a student of theology at the guitar (who left the band for good to become a legit priest) and a few punk guitarists who replaced him. Slayer and Speedmetal-fan "Pogo", the "chubby" Reb (who was asked by his fans to strip down to his speedos at concerts) and Dully.
They started really really underground, playing youth clubs, end-of-school-parties and other minor or DIY venues.
The kids loved them, though, they got signed to a major, went through the ceiling...
- Listening Suggestion #2: The Bates - Billie Jean https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84MrYCzxuV8
Then the stars aligned in just the right way:
They did a "punk" cover of Billie Jean, the label sent them off to Hollywood to create a "Psycho" lookalike music video in black and white.
Right when the Punk Revival was at its height in the US with bands like Green Day and The Offspring.
There was a startup German Music TV station which was destined to "take" market shares from MTV's German division.
And they did so by focusing on more "local" bands than MTV (in the days of the infant internet, *distance* still mattered a lot more than it does today).
I'm on a tangent here, but I can imagine this was the reason why the major + TV tried to "push" a domestic Punk band to the teens who listened to the Punk bands from over the pond.
Maybe it also helped that they casted a model to do the shower scene - and showed a little bit more skin than in the original movie.
Either way, the video went into heavy rotation, was played half a dozen times a day and - boom - The Bates were the next big thing. Out of a sudden.
- Listening Suggestion #3: The Bates - Hello (Shakespears Sister cover) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fM0RGc_rQZ0
Ever since that day the music elite slagged The Bates off as yet another teen punk band - who only got "famous" because of a cover song - "they can't even write songs on their own!".
Teens and even parts of the hc punks stayed true to the band, and they might not even object to the label.
The Bates once described their genre as "Bubblegum Trash".
Bubblegum as in: 60s Pop influences, Lesley Gore, The Ronettes, Shangri-Las, ...
And Trash as in: punk rock in your face you bastards!
If I listen back to the band with the "music knowledge" I have nowadays, I'd insist there are also other major influences:
Goth, Deathrock, even a bit of Psychobilly. Quite audible in songs like "Psycho Junior", "Lisa", and "Norman".
And yes, that they based the Band on a Psycho / Norman Bates theme adds to the Horrorpunk feel, in my opinion.
Plus they were inspired by The Chameleons, a UK indie rock band. References to them are sprawled across their discography.
This strange-but-alluring clash of styles should show you that The Bates was really not just-another-pop-punk-band.
There is something very deep, enigmatic hidden behind this surface.
I am telling you.
I guess this was largely based on the effort of their charismatic singer "Zimbl". And the talent they had for making outstanding melodies.
For me, personally, it was only after I stumbled upon later bands such as The Raveonettes or Dum Dum Girls that I spotted a well-done approach like this again - smashing 60s bubblegum harmonies into distorted guitars.
- Listening Suggestion #4: The Bates - Out Of The Blue (Neil Young Cover) (Live) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0cb0WHYJQY
According to all parties involved, the pressure they experienced after their sudden rise to stardom crushed the band.
International tours, excess of parties, alcohol, substance abuse and addiction... all this took its toll.
The band splintered, broke up. There were new and solo projects, but nothing as big anymore.
Zimbl died, much too soon, at the age of 41, and this was the end of it.
The legacy of the band is largely forgotten, even in Germany.
Unfairly so, because they had a lot going for them.
But they *still* have their fans from the old days - and the music keeps getting regular re-releases, too.
- Listening Suggestion #5: The Bates @ MTV's Most Wanted https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra5zdpG32xA
Burt Reynolds and Liza Minnelli in Rent-a-Cop (1987) - outdoing Tarantino in the first 10 minutes
Hello Friends,
A few weeks ago, I re-watched Rent-A-Cop. It was better than I remembered, so I decided to review it.
Warning, this review contains extensive spoilers of the movie, as well as of "Reservoir Dogs" towards the end.
Note: No AI was used in writing this text.
Rent-a-cop is a cop thriller / crime movie from the late 80s. Reviews were rather lukewarm. Critics lamented the movie would try to be too much of everything, and thus would be "neither here nor there". And, indeed, it feels like an accumulation of the 70s and 80s favorite tropes. Cop movie, buddy movie, fish-out-of-water, the odd couple...
The coupling is maybe not so square at all. Burt plays an aging, hardened, streetwise, tough talking cop who got kicked out of his job, while Liza is an aging, hardened, streetwise, shit-talking sex worker on the run.
Both actors were at a bit of a career slump and, indeed, aging at this point, so I could imagine there is something biographical about the way they played these roles.
Personally, I feel the movie sits a bit "in between time". It is a 70s / 80s movie through and through *yet* there are also some modern elements.
For example, There are (very brief) references to fetish sex and LGBTQIA+ themes that felt "ahead of time" for a traditional cop flick of the 80s (at least this side of Miami Vice).
The world of computers has already intruded the world of law and crime; both gangsters, cops, drug lords, and madams are very interested in desktop computers, diskettes, and database software.
And then there is Dancer, the main villain. I think he's one of the best villains in any crime movie ever.
Homicidal, maniac, complete psycho. Nihilist, hellbent, just in it for kicks and chaos. Nearly shoots himself in the head on a dare.
Apart from working as a killer, he is a professional dancer and loves to pick up people at night clubs (and a few scenes make you wonder how straight he is about this...)
Most people will remember the movie for one scene, right at the beginning.
There is an extensive build-up to the scene, we see hotel rooms, gangsters preparing a drug deal, cops gathering to bust this specific drug deal, we learn that there are undercover agents at work too, everything feels tense, uncertain...
So the deal takes place, and the operation takes place, too, and just in this moment, dancer bursts in through the door, tosses a "flashbang", blinds everyone, even the police snipers, kills everyone in the chaos, all of this in a matter of mere seconds.
It leaves quite the impression.
We later learn that the drug deal was overseen by a local kingpin; and word reached his organization that something might run afoul, and there might be a traitor involved in the deal. So the kingpin calls up dancer and orders a hit on *everyone* involved - the cops, the undercover agents and *all of his own, loyal men*. A wholesale massacre - just to be sure about everything.
I recently re-watched Reservoir Dogs, which also is a crime movie, but from the 90s, from the next generation.
Of course, "dogs" is the better movie, it's more modern, it's genius, it's groundbreaking. It was praised for its off-level screening of violence. It paints quite a bleak and nihilist world, that's for sure.
The topic is a failed crime operation too, and there is a lot of blood shed in the result. There is a traitor involved as well, and there is a lot of lamenting, pondering, panic, just to be certain who the traitor is, and not to kill the "wrong" guy by making an unwise decision.
But come to think of it... the world depicted in "rent-a-cop" is even one inch more bleak, cynical, and brutal, than in Tarantino's.
There is no "honor amongst thieves", no care - the fate of friends and foes is decided on a whim, without concern, and then everyone is gone.
Now to get away from Tarantino.
"Rent-a-cop" indeed feels like a lukewarm affair, an old-fashioned cop and buddy movie; but it has a few good moments, and these good moments actually feel brilliant and, in a sense, very modern.
It left me with the impression that maybe the time was not right for this content yet, and it would have fared better if it had been done in the 90s. And I wonder how some of the more interesting content would have worked out if these pieces had been getting more extensive treatment.
Freitag, 17. Oktober 2025
"Neuromancer" was actually adapted as a computer game in 1988 with the involvement of Timothy Leary and Devo
"Neuromancer" was actually adapted as a computer game in 1988 with the involvement of Timothy Leary and Devo
It's a story that seems to be a bit too crazy to be true... but William Gibson's cyberpunk novel "Neuromancer" was an early computer game port[1]. Released in 1988-1990 on contemporary computer systems like the Commodore 64, Amiga, or Apple II.
What's even more crazy is that the whole thing was initiated by "the most dangerous man in America" (according to Richard Nixon) - the 60s hippie guru Timothy Leary. Leary seems to have "jumped ship" early on during development[2], though, and in the end it was the company Interplay Entertainment that produced+released the game.
Interplay is also known for some other famous classics like The Bard's Tale, Battle Chess, or Wasteland.[3]
New Wave band Devo provided the soundtrack to it. According to the box cover art. Or rather, one of their songs got "ported" to the various systems, too. So the C64 actually has 8 bit vocal samples of the Devo singer, while the Amiga has a purely instrumental cover of the song as soundtrack.
The game itself is one of the most "mentally split" things ever, because you play the game as a fairly normal and conventional "point and click" type adventure (with a strange interface that avoids the "pointing" part of a point and click adventure, most of the time).
And then [warning, major spoilers ahead] boom! You lift off into cyberspace, and now it's an early 3D game, with wireframes, polygon graphics and all. You float around the matrix and need to hack into "ICE"[4] and battle AIs in a kind of "turn based real time fight" (too complicated to explain, just get in the car).
The setting is loosely based on the Neuromancer novel: you run around Chiba City, and Chrome, Wintermute, Neuromancer are amongst the AIs you encounter in the game. Other characters get mentioned, too, or omitted.
The story is entirely novel and different though, and die-hard fans would likely object that a lot of content clashes with the canon of the original book.
One of my favorite oldschool games!
So, why was a person like Timothy Leary so hell-bent on getting the story of Neuromancer out and onto the circuits?
Well, after the 60s subculture had died down, and the more sober 70s passed, Leary became interested in the computer / dial-up / hacker / cyberpunk culture of the 80s, and believed this to be the herald of a new "cyberdelic revolution" that would continue on the path of the original hippies (and knock the establishment out of business for good!)[4]
And why was Devo involved? Jeez! It's Devo, man. Did Devo ever need a reason?
Footnotes:
1: It might actually be one of the first computer ports based on a novel (most game adaptations were based on movies - and still are).
2: https://www.theverge.com/2013/10/1/4791566/timothy-learys-neuromancer-video-game-could-have-been-incredible
3: Interplay was also involved in a lot of other fairly famous games, but my "shortened" research on this topic did not make it clear if they developed these, too, or just licensed / acquired them.
4: "ICE (Intrusion Countermeasures Electronics) is the technology that protects a system from illegal intrusions" in the world of William Gibson https://williamgibson.fandom.com/wiki/ICE
5: if you are interested in this kind of stuff, then it is a very interesting topic to research on the internet.
Note: No AI was used in writing this text (sorry for that, my dear Neuromancer!)
Mittwoch, 23. April 2025
Between Sleaze and Cosmic Longing: Themes of Love and Sensuality in the Early Techno Underground
There was almost none of that to be found there; the aesthetics were pure, clean, almost virginal...
Very strange for a sub-genre born out of LGBTQIA+, "free love" and similar sub-subcultures.
I guess part of it is the whole 60s, psychedelia, cyberdelia concept that runs through this sound... the initial acid house boom was called "second summer of love" for a reason (a reference to the first "summer of love", the zenith of the hippie movement in the Bay Area).
"We are cosmic dancers now, we move upwards to the sky, we leave our bodies behind... and our bodily needs, too".
And yeah, the heavy drug use associated with that scene means that, most of the time (and contrary to popular belief), they did not want to get it on.
And then there is the whole "future" vibe... original techno sounds like "alien music from planet alien"... it's tracks about hexadecimal dimensions, interstellar signals, journeys to the seven stars...
Too abstract, too nerdy, too brainiac to think about skin2skin action.
And the fallout of that is that 99 out of 100 early techno tracks are not about intimacy. (To put this into perspective; look up the regular pop/rap/dance top 100 charts and ponder how many of these tracks are about it...)
Now let's look at the few "unicorns" inside this group that are different in that regard.
1. Model 500 - Night Drive (Thru-Babylon) https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Woah! That's a sleaze-bomb right there. Juan Atkins, what were you thinking?
If you try to decipher the lyrics, it's about him driving his Porsche through Detroit until he meets... his girlfriend? a stranger? a sex worker?
And then... well, as the lyrics go, "she turns it... all the way"
2. LaTour - People Are Still Having Sex https://www.youtube.com/watch?
actually one of the first true techno hits and classics.
a witty satire and almost political commentary on human intimacy.
very direct, but also polite and modest enough to leave a lot to the imagination.
reverts the trope of the "sexual revolution" by saying "we didn't change anything, it was always here and will always be here".
3. LFO - Tied Up https://www.youtube.com/watch?
LFO were the heroes of bleep techno right? Warp records, warehouse raves.
And then they drop this one, many years later. A hymn to BDSM culture. Very heavy stuff.
If you still have a bit of innocence in your mind, listening to this track might haunt you forever.
4. Culture Trance - La Revolución Del Sexo https://www.youtube.com/watch?
This is what I wrote about earlier. Cosmic longing, cosmic trance, dancing under the night sky.
The "sexo" in this track feels very new age like too... hippies, gurus, shamans... unity with the stars. Bodily unity.
5. Marusha - Whatever Turns You On https://www.youtube.com/watch?
An early hit for "queen of hard trance" marusha... sound is a bit rougher than her later tracks.
Not very graphic or explicit at all, still, the sounds, vocals, and drums make you feel the ecstasy...
6. Charly Lownoise & Mental Theo - Ultimate Sextrack (Remix) https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Gabber producers never beat around the bush when it comes to any topic, and the track is exactly what the title says.
and now... "my favorite fantasy is..."
7. Lords Of Acid - Rough Sex https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Lords of Acid were probably the most sexual themed act of the rave scene... or in the history of music.
This track pushes back the "comic longing for love" aspect I mentioned earlier... and sports a more rough and hard outlook on the whole subject matter.
8. Legend B - Lost In Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?
The acid-trance vibes, the mood of the track, and the vocal samples ("Remember when we played together?") evoke a mystical, pure, almost innocent form of intimacy.
9. Moby - Everytime You Touch Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Moby went from being a depressed rocker to being a depressed raver and finally to being a depressed producer of world-famous electronica-pop.
This is not to put him down, not at all; his music is pure and genius in its melancholy and infinite sadness.
But I guess this track was the closest he ever got to feeling happy.
10. ''O'' - Another Orgasm https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Little nasty early EBM-Electro track.
Its author later became one of the most prolific producers in all the world of electronic music.
Ca. 1996/1997, the cosmic, new age mood of techno began to wane, and with it, the association with happiness, euphoria and ecstasy.
Now, the mood in electronica and dance music was more disillusioned, apocalyptic and pessimist; and this gave rise to a lot of very sleazy tracks.
The former "odd" period of almost bodiless electronic music was over.
Mittwoch, 16. April 2025
Looking back at music history: the raunchy/spicy New Wave of German music 1977 - 1983
When people think about the New Wave era, the eye usually wanders towards the UK and, to a lesser degree, Northern America.
Rightfully so, because both countries had the most important and best known output regarding this music (Just think about Visage, The Human League, Blondie, Talking Heads...)
Germany is mostly off the radar, and again, rightfully so.
The new wave of signals were heard in Germany, yes, and it led to a huge wave of new music on its own, yes, that dominated the German and sometimes worldwide charts (Major Tom, Der Kommissar[1], 99 Red Balloons...), but... there is a big *but* here.
Because somehow the signals must have been splintered or fractured, as there was a strange, surreal mutation in sounds.
Or to describe it in more "sober" words: the influence of british new wave music gave rise to the so called "Neue Deutsche Welle" - 'German new wave' - *but* it sounded quite different to its British counterpart.
Much more so than, say, Belgian Techno did sound different from French Techno.
In fact, many "Neue Deutsche Welle" songs (I will call it "NDW" from now on) would not fit to the "New Wave" term, and vice versa.
Now that this intro is over, let's cut to the point.
The NDW scene had a huge and varied output that is of increased interest to international (and German) collectors and music fans in general.
There are a lot of gems, oddities, rarities and obscurities to be found; and this time, we will look at NSFW NDW songs.
These songs are of highly cultural (and maybe even sociological and political) interest, as they came into existence when various, sometimes completely opposed societal groups collided in the NDW scene, trend, and market.
"Raunchy" or "offensive" songs were, for example, done by ex-punk bands that tried to create an outrage, middle aged business men that wanted to generate easy money (by creating an outrage, too), feminist bands trying to stir up the male-centered cultural discourse, art projects that sought an outlet for highly intellectual, academicized, post-modern and post-cultural views on sex and nudity (and also wanted to create an outrage).
so, essentially, you had everything, from drunk gutter punks (of all genders) yelling particularly vulgar and obscene words for perfectly natural human body parts and activities, to chic, upper crust and high brow art school type people yelling particularly vulgar and obscene words for perfectly natural human body parts and activities.
The common thread behind all this indeed seems to have been the desire to create an outrage - and maybe to have some fun (and make easy money).
Did they succeed? Well, yes and no. The raunchy hits rarely became *official* hits, but, as expected, a lot of them spread in the underground and subcultures.
How did the public react? Nudity and other topics that were considered to be "no-no" in countries like the USA shocked Europeans and Germans to a much lesser degree. And playing the "art card" (which most bands could credibly do) usually meant that you could do whatever you want in Europe.
So, yes, there was some scandal and debates, but on a much smaller scale than one might expect when looking back at this.
The NDW unexpectedly faltered some time after 1983. "Over-saturation" of markets and "over-stupefaction" of songs is often cited as the reason.
So, this part of "raunchy" German music history ceased to exist, too.
And then, less than a decade later, the German Techno scene came around, and with it subcultures that were much more "risqué", but that's a wholly different matter.
Footnotes: [1] The media and most people refer usually refer to all songs of this movement as NDW or "Neue Deutsche Welle", even though a lot of it is actually of Austrian, Swiss, and other origin.
Examples of raunchy NDW / German new wave songs.
Note: don't expect driving disco music with luscious voices. The music is really like I described it above; somewhere between cringe and art, surrealism and synthesizers. I guess some of it won't be a "turn on", especially if you look back with today's eyes. Unless you are a drunk punk or art nerd, maybe.
Note 2: If you ain't fluent in German language, I suggest you get a dictionary and look up the song lyrics.
Because otherwise you might be entirely missing the point.
The Pinups - New Wave Lover (1980) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEQjpd8GgjY
Zaza - Zauberstab (1982) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmGaJ-6o3MI
guy sings about his "magic wand"
Die Chefs - Oberficker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkYlDK0eWcI
Spider Murphy Gang - Skandal Im Sperrbezirk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oESfa8jt0p8
about people allegedly having to resort to specialty telephone operators due to a ban of sex work in Munich.
Hans-a-Plast - Sex Sex Sex https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICNTwrj_nzc
Extrabreit - Annemarie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRDW1JwjL_g
the singer wants to have sex with Annemarie (also slight allusions towards BDSM and fetishism)
Trio - Anna https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8H0EUIq6Fs
the singer asks Anna to let him "in and out".
Falco - Der Kommissar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtxkmrXfgTM
sex drugs and rocknroll in the underground night life, basically - while paying attention to not get busted by the cops
Kiz - Die Sennerin vom Königsee (1982) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtxkmrXfgTM
young men from all over the nation visit a Bavarian dairymaid in order to "yodel" with her.
Bärchen und die Milchbubis - Schweinekram https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZS5qKZO3Fo
"Bärchen" can't stop thinking about sex
Hans-a-Plast - Lederhosentyp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGfUTsaglc8
about wanting to have sex with guys in lederhosen
Autofick - The deutsche girls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGju05kjy0
Deutsch Amerikanische Freundschaft - Sex Up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiA6x4tjDwg
Ixi - Detlef (1983) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuvNMBiNnL8
a girl wants to pimp her boyfriend and send him off to work the streets
Schaltkreis Wassermann - Sex Is Out, Ich Bin Geklont (1981) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWovS806lyI
about the future of being a sexless clone
Strassenjungs - Jeder Mensch ist mal alleine (1977) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe6QUZKmWj8
justification and instructions for solo-sex
Freitag, 7. Juni 2024
Producer Q&A: Do I think it's okay when people masturbate to my music?
Hello friends and strangers,
It's another round of my producer's Q&A.
For this time, I want to focus on a quite special topic:
Last year, a rather unusual feedback regarding my music reached me:
A fan told me he got "addicted" to 'touching himself' while listening to my tracks; and he turned it into a little ritual where he would "overdub" movies of an explicit nature with my sound and then go on a very private session.
(It should be noted, it was not just my tracks that had this effect on him; but he noted my tracks are amongst those that 'worked best' for this purpose).
So, what do I think of this? How did it made me feel to be the recipient of such "candid" details?
Well, what I think and feel is that when it comes to topics of sexuality, the discourse in western society is often rather childish and silly. Let's try to have a more mature, rational take on this.
I don't think these "incidents" are related to any kind of attraction or "horniness" towards me or my music, maybe not even related to "sexuality" as it is understood by the laymen.
Due to my very personal history, the main theme of music has always been "healing": the healing of issues on a mental or emotional level, helping to cope with traumas or inner conflicts, and generally liberation and empowerment of the mind and the psyche (I make no claim that I'm always successful at that, though!).
Now, the reproductive system, and sexuality in general, are a huge part of a person's health, no matter if man, woman, or any other gender (or even agender). This is all very natural.
Reproductive and sexual well-being is just as much an important issue as well-being of one's digestive system, heart, lungs, and so on (maybe even more important).
So, I think what happened is that my tracks maybe helped undo / fix a mental blockade, that in turn led to this sexual improvement.
My music is about *release* after all, release of pent-up emotions such as anger, frustration, fury, sadness, melancholy. This release is often joined with a physical activity, such as intensive dancing in a club.
Now if my music leads to a release of pent-up emotions of a sexual nature, and is accompanied by a very special "physical movement", this is all fine with me. please go for it.
If someone went to a "real doctor" because of an issue regarding the reproductive system, the doctor tries to fix in, and in a follow up the person told him that sex / pleasure has improved by a lot now, this would not be weird or strange or unusual either, but part of the doctor's profession.
Thus, such "unusual" feedback does make me feel uneasy or uncomfortable.
Masturbation is good and healthy, and if my music is a help there, then this is all the better.
